The Day I Realized I Don’t Want to Be a Nurse Anymore

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For the whole and entirety of my life, I wanted to be a nurse.  I grew up around it. You may as well call me Meredith Gray. I had a million nurse moms, all my mom’s friends from where she had worked as an OB nurse at a small, rural hospital. And for years, I was a nurse. Then one day, it hit me like a piano from a 4th story window. I don’t want to be a nurse anymore.

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    I grew up wanting to save lives and help people. I worked my butt off for years to get the grades and be accepted into nursing school.  After graduation, I worked even harder to prove that I was a good nurse. I worked hard, saved lives, and had the most amazing group of friends but also collogues a girl could ask for. Then, slowly but surely, the road got dark and the mood changed dramatically.

    Growing up, I idolized my mom and my aunt, both nurses in different fields. My mom was an OB nurse.  I remember her working nights when I was little, coming home when I was getting ready to go to school with breakfast from Burger King (those tiny cinnamon rolls were the best thing ever). She brought babies into the world. It was the job God Himself had chosen her for, and I could see it in how she spoke about work.

    She was exhausted, but so proud to be doing what she did.

    My aunt, on the other hand, was an ICU nurse. She saved the sickest of sick patients.

    I would sit and listen to the stories they would tell about the joy of bringing life into the world or back into it, as well as stories about heartache and tragedy .  They would talk about the patients that touched their hearts, the staff they worked with, and the hospital they were both proud to be a part of.

    I wanted all of that.

    So I worked and struggled (and I do mean STRUGGLED) and eventually got accepted into and subsequently graduated from the local community college with my associate’s degree in nursing.  I immediately went to work in the field I had spent the last few years in as a CNA, the Emergency Department.  

    I was swallowed up by ER nursing from day 1.  Saving lives in organized chaos consumed me. I swore I’d never find another job I loved as much as ER nursing.

    That lasted 5 years.

    Then the mood changed.  

    The patient to staff ratio began to get dangerously high.  

    Nursing administration, in their perfect office world with no bedside nursing, would send down orders for changes that no working nurse would ever want.

     Department administration would look the other way when we asked for help, giving nothing but excuses for why they couldn’t help and blame when things went wrong in our understaffed, overloaded ER.

    Experienced nurses were let go for reasons I’ll never understand or left because they could see what was happening.

    I couldn’t see what was happening for the longest time. I thought, “surely it will get better” and “It’s ok. I’m ok. It’s going to be fine.”

    Begrudgingly, I began to admit to myself that the Emergency Department was becoming a soul-sucking entity that threatened my license and my sanity. I finally said enough is enough and after 7 years, took 2 sabbaticals into other areas of nursing in the hospital. None of them made me any happier.

    So after 12 years working in the same hospital, 7 of those years as one of its nurses, I gave my resignation and ended my employment with the establishment that I thought I’d retire from.

    I left for a different job, one as an oncology nurse in a different city and state.  The change was exactly what I needed.

    Or so I thought.

    Learning a completely new area of nursing made me fall in love with nursing again.  I was helping people again.

    I was responsible for giving life-saving medications to people that NEEDED IT, wouldn’t survive without it.  

    For a while, it was everything I wanted.  It was everything I had been missing in the ER.  I loved the patients and the staff I worked with was amazing.  

    It lasted 10 months this time.

    Then one day, something happened.  It wasn’t one particular thing. There wasn’t a patient or a specific circumstance. I had a realization.

    It was the realization that nothing is going to change.  

    Healthcare is a broken system.  

    Patients go broke seeking treatment or die waiting for insurance to approve medications they need.  Insurance companies dictate medical management instead of providers who spent years in school and more years perfecting their craft.  

    Charting became 14 different screens of CYA instead of one page about what the patient is actually experiencing and what I’m doing about it.

    Administration became, “Why can’t you be better/take on more patients/take on more responsibility?” instead of “What can we do to make you a better nurse/how can we help you?”  

    Good nurses left the profession entirely, leaving it to new grads with no experience and even less common sense.  (No offense, newbies, but most of you learned a lot of book stuff but have no idea how to be a nurse. It’s not your fault, but that is an entirely different subject.)

    Don’t get me wrong.  I still love being a nurse.

    I love my patients SO MUCH.  Taking care of them makes my days.  Talking to them and hearing the struggles and triumphs is what I long for.  Being able to help with the battle is why I became a nurse in the first place.

    Sometimes I inspire my patients

    I became a nurse to help people.

    I didn’t become a nurse to do mountains of paperwork unrelated to my patients and their care.

    I didn’t become a nurse to have to answer for my appropriate actions to administration.

    I didn’t become a nurse to have to defend my license every day because some doctor/ CEO/ patient decides they want something a certain way and no one will back me up when that something is dangerous or just not good common sense.  

    I love taking care of patients, but it’s not enough anymore.

    Hard work and dedication come naturally to me, but it’s not enough anymore.

    My educational requirements and every task that is handed to me are done, but it’s not enough anymore.

    I’m a good nurse, but it’s not enough. I hate nursing and I don’t want to be a nurse anymore.

    Update 11/28/19:

    I have had so many people contact me with questions, comments and just to let me know that they feel the same way. It warms my heart to know that what I’m saying resonates with other nurses.

    I worried when I wrote this that maybe I was crazy. Maybe it was just like that at the hospital that I was at. That is not the case.

    Apparently, it’s a national crisis. Nurses EVERYWHERE are feeling it. It’s probably one of the saddest realizations I’ve had.

    I have had lots of people ask if I am still in nursing. I am.

    I still work as an ER nurse. And I still want out.

    update 6/10/20

    Yes, I still hate nursing is one way or another. I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say I don’t want to ever be a nurse again.

    I still love the patients and still hate the rest. There isn’t a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about how nice it will be to not have to be a nurse, or at least be a nurse because I want to and not because I have to.

    But i have found a happy medium between being a nurse and not being a nurse.

    I am working 2 PRN or “as needed” jobs. The first is in the ER, but I haven’t worked in 2 months there because the country is in an uproar. The second is at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, TN.

    I am devoting my remaining time to selling real estate for the state of TN and writing blog posts like these.

    Update #3: January 2021

    I’m still working as a nurse.

    Vanderbilt University Medical Center has shown me all the things I was missing working anywhere else. I don’t hate nursing anymore. I dislike it, and want to eventually quit doing it, but I am finally helping patients again and NOT doing mountains of paperwork. I have a supportive boss, amazing coworkers, and get to learn something new every single day.

    The end goal is still to get out of nursing and help people in other ways. But for now, I have all that I need.

    If you liked this article, show it some love by sharing.

    If you want to read about how nursing administration can kill healthcare, give this link a click.

    You can also check out a story from when I was an ER nurse.


    62 thoughts on “The Day I Realized I Don’t Want to Be a Nurse Anymore”

    1. I’m an Indian. I don’t want to explain the situations here in terms of education and jobs. I just want to say. Thank you for this amazing blog. I WANT to be a nurse. Or rather I’m going to be a nurse. But not really sure. I’m still thinking…

      Reply
      • It can be a very rewarding job. You just have to be careful not to do too much and burn out too quickly. Good luck!

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    2. I feel this way! So on point! I dont know if im jaDed with how much expectations there is from Management/adminIstrAtion or i just never really wanted to be a nurse to Begin with. Ive been a nurse for 10 And a half years and I dont know what to do anymore. I just dread going to work.

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      • Thanks for the read. Since writing this article, I have dropped down to as needed and only work 2 days a week. I have also completely changed organizations. These 2 things have helped immensely. The end goal is still to quit nursing completely, but for now I am satisfied.

        I’m sorry you feel this way about nursing. There are so so many that do. I fear for the future of Healthcare because of how things are going.

        I hope it all works out for you! Good luck!

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      • I DREad going to work. I don’t sleep,. I get nauseous at the thought of having to go into work. I’m tired ALL the time. I’ve been a nurse 34 years, 23 of them as a NP. In pediatrics. I want to leave health care but I don’t have any idea what to do

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        • I totally get it. I want to leave too, but I have a mortgage to pay. Eventually I know it will happen. I’m also a real estate agent and write for 3 blogs. But they don’t pay (yet).

          Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

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      • I am Really so glad that I found this and took the time to read this. I thought I was crazy too. I love being a nurse, but it is so disheartening at the same time….I hate going to work, get anxiety the day before, then can do nothing but “lick my wounds” a couple of days after because of being shorthanded constantly. You go in this field to make a difference, then it NEVER happens.

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        • No, it doesn’t. I wanted to make a difference, but I don’t see the point in it anymore.

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        • HI, i’m down on nursing too (i dont know why this is in all caps??) Anyway, I seem to get the non-compliant pts who are fluid restrictions who have cases of soda brought by family members, cookies, candy, etc… Oh and they get 10mg Oxy they’ve been taking for years for some chronic knee pain. Instead of the call bell, they’d rather just scream your name. However I did have some good experiences by people who did really want to get better and did under my care. They were very appreciative and that’s the only thing that keeps me going.

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          • “Hey nurse” is one of my least favorite ways to be addressed.

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      • Hi SR,
        I feel the same way you are feeling . I IMAGINE there are many mOre nurses also feeling the exact same way right now. Experienced nurses are leaving Our facility in great numbers and INEXPERIENCED nurses are taking their places. I was trained in cardioVascular nursing, and remain in that field. After almost 13 years of bedside nursing Im done. If administration Isnt givIng you more paTients, they’re givIng you PatieNts who have ICU drips running and expecting The same great care without education on The drips wHile giving you the same number of patients to care for that you normally have. I’m Drained after every shift.

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        • Yeah, new grads being put in dangerous situations without proper training is part of the reason I think the nursing profession is the way it is. I have to give props to my current organization. They put a lot of emphasis on training. It’s good to see.

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    3. Hi it was an eye opener, I’m a nursing students, kinda scared reading this article . My mom’s a nurse , I wish to be too in 3 yrs, let’s hope for the best

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      • Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

        Good luck!!

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    4. I completely agree. I recently quit my job on a med-surg-onc floor after being full time and then eventually going prn and now im a stay at home mom. I just got so jaded, burnt out, didn’t care about nursing anymore after being shit on for years on the floor. My anxiety level after leaving nursing is so much better and i dont think i could ever go back to bedside at least. Nursing today is just not what it used to be, feels like more of a business 🙁

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      • Bedside nursing definitely isn’t what is was even 10 years ago. I hate that the field has taken such a nosedive. I hate it even worse because I don’t see it changing.

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      • It has definiteLy become a business, and whEn profit becomes more about patient aNd staff safety, care is compromised. So disheartening and when you bring it up to administration, no one cares

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        • Disheartening is a great word for it!

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    5. Hey,
      I’m not a nurse I’m an occupational therapist at an elderly/retirement home from Belgium. And I feel it too…I love beeing an OT, I know I’m good at it but the system is fucked.
      I have to struggle every day to be heard by the man and women who controle the money. Our boss just has a radical diffrent view and isn’t interested in my goals als an OT with our residents. To them I’m just someone they have to hire and theu use me as an extra.

      For A while i’ve wondered iff I should go for my nurses degree, as a little kid I came in contact with hospitals and nurses a lot and I was always fascinated by what they were capable of: healing wounds, saving lives, comforting anxiety etc. But now I’m not so sure anymore. I’ve heard a lot of stories that beeing a nurse isn’t that idylic anymore and it abve all it takes a huge toll on your own life….is that worth it for me?

      I’ve always wanted to learn..;I huger for knowledge but is 4 years of combining studying and working, having moneyproblems to get through this enough to make me happy in the end. Yess it’s a job which is more appreciated in the medical field then OT! Yes it’s a DIFFERENT kind of knowledge, skills I will get but will that eventualy make me happy.

      So after months of thinking I’ve decided to not do it. I’m staying an OT, I will try to see through the bullshit en find my energy back again to get through my days and have moments of happiness along the way.
      However I will do a 3 year study to become a Herbolagist and maybe do something with that in the future and if it’s just as a hobby it can function as a good weight to keep balance with my job.
      so my sky has cleared up a little more…I feel energetic again, which I haven’t felt for a long time

      good luck in your search and journey
      but I fear the healthcaresystem around the world is sick and isn’t cared for enough and lots of skilled and passionate workers will become frustrated and turn their backs …and it’s a shame.

      Reply
      • It is a shame. The whole of Healthcare is a shame anymore. Good luck with whatever direction your life takes.

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    6. I am Really so glad that I found this and took the time to read this. I thought I was crazy too. I love being a nurse, but it is so disheartening at the same time….I hate going to work, get anxiety the day before, then can do nothing but “lick my wounds” a couple of days after because of being shorthanded constantly. You go in this field to make a difference, then it NEVER happens.

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    7. Wow, i came across this post as i was literally searching “I don’t want to be a nurse anymore”. I’ve been at the bedside for 14 years. I started getting panic attacks about 2 years in. but, like everyone else, i have kids and a mortgage to pay. I know my husband cares, to a point, but he has no idea what working at the bedside is like and all he really wants to see is the full time paycheck come in every two weeks. I’m so stuck. I’ve tried reaching out to leadership to transfer to non-clinical roles, but you need at least a bsn (Which I’m working on slowly) to leave the floor. besides, everyplace is so short staffed that i’m sure they’re a little reluctant to lose an experienced nurse from the floors.

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      • That BSN requirement is bologna. I know a ton of good nurses who don’t have it and a ton of shit nurses that do.

        Sorry you don’t have much of a support system. Having a FT paint job is important, but at what cost?

        Don’t for one second worry about the short staffed-ness of the floors. Guaranteed they don’t care about you.

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    8. I’ve been an rn for 25 + years. i haven’t been happy in nursing for years. i count the hours down to go home. i feel undervalued and unrewarded. i have decided that nursing is no longer what i will do. i am 62 and want to be happy. life is fragile – no one knows how long we have on this earth. i am looking into doing something like door dash and obama care to help me pay the bills and mortgage. i am so scared. any advice?

      Reply
      • I don’t have advice about what you can do to supplement income, but I can tell you life it TOO SHORT to be unhappy. If you are miserable every day, something needs to change. I hope you find something that makes you happy.

        I can tell you I found a job in nursing where I don’t have to work as hard and get paid more than ever, and it’s been a God send!

        Good luck.

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    9. I can relate to this so much! I have been a nurse for 11 years now. It doesn’t bring me the joy it once did. I work in a doctor’s office now, but I would love to do something else. Currently in the middle of my BSN, thinking about becoming a NP. But it terrifies me to think it will just keep getting worse and I will have wasted all that money to be miserable. I hope you find something you love and the balance you need. I hope the same for myself.

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      • I said anyone who can think about NP. Too much school for me lol. But good luck with whatever you decide.

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    10. I have been a nurse 30 years. I am 59. and I am like so burnt out!. I have beeN IN PACU FOR THE LAST 18 YEARS. I AM SO SICK OF THE POLITICS, LAZINESS AND OTHER NURSES WILL ABSOLUTELY NO WORK ETHIC. IN THE UNIT I AM A WORKHORSE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN BUT IT GETS DIFFICULT WHEN 4 PEOPLE ARE SITTING AT THE DESK PLAYING ON THEIR PHONE INSTEAD OF HELPING. NO TEAM WORK EVERY MAN OUT FOR THEMSELF! I THINK DAILY…. WHAT ELSE CAN I BE THAT SUPPORTS ME? IF YOU SPEAK UP YOU ARE A TROUBLE MAKER . I HAVE PURSUED MY MASTERS WITH 4 CREDIT HOURS LEFT AND THINK WHY BOTHER. ADMINISTRATION DOESN’T WANT THE TRUTH THEY WANT A YES PERSON. THE PHRASE HAS BEEN BEEN NURSES EAT THEIR YOUNG???? WELL I THINK THAT HAS CHANGED THAT NURSES DISRESPECT AND DUMP ON THEIR ELDERS!

      Reply
      • I HATE lazy nurses. Probably one of my biggest pet peeves! I don’t see how anyone can sit and just watch someone else work.

        You’re absolutely right about admins, too! Luckily, my current admins are pretty awesome, but I’ve had some crap ones.

        Good luck and I hope you find some peace!

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      • You are 1000% correct!!!!! Esp about the yes person part. Ive been an RN, my BSN. “BullsH*t nursing degree” for ten years… what a joke. And not to mention in debt Over the useless bsn degree. I am too, a work horse and am tired if lazy nurses Having no work ethic or teamwork. It maddens me to know end.

        Reply
        • I, too, have that ridiculously expensive piece of paper that I spent way too much money on that doesn’t do SHIT for me in the real world. BSN degrees are a joke. And I cannot stand a lazy nurse.

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    11. I don’t know why this is typing in all caps. the problem is that nurses put up with it. Administration will never change until we nurses change what we will tolerate. I blame nurses for the problems. I have gone to administration to tell them that i speak for everyone on these issues then admin went to the nurses and they all denied that there were any problems. We aren’t all in this together as we should be. I’m a damn good nurse but I’m leaving the profession because COVID made a difficult situation even worse and I know I can’t do 40 hours of work in the 16 hours they are allowing me. I don’t want to lose my license or destroy my reputation as a nurse because of this. Then the nurse who is filling in isn’t backing up that they need to fill the 40 hours as they should. I’m on medical leave for stress but I can’t go back. I’m done.

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    12. the problem is that nurses put up with it. Administration will never change until we nurses change what we will tolerate. I blame nurses for the problems. I have gone to administration to tell them that i speak for everyone on these issues then admin went to the nurses and they all denied that there were any problems. We aren’t all in this together as we should be. I’m a damn good nurse but I’m leaving the profession because COVID made a difficult situation even worse and I know I can’t do 40 hours of work in the 16 hours they are allowing me. I don’t want to lose my license or destroy my reputation as a nurse because of this. Then the nurse who is filling in isn’t backing up that they need to fill the 40 hours as they should. I’m on medical leave for stress but I can’t go back. I’m done.

      Reply
      • I agree with everything you are saying! I am done as well, I just have to build my side hustle into my only hustle.

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    13. Hi,

      I am in my first semester of an rn program and already have doubt about wanting to do this as a career because of the internal politics that exist within the program itself (ie, the lab instructor is verbally abusive and makes the whole experience stressful because it seems that she likes her position of “power”)

      Also, my sister has been work for a 1.5 years and is so negative about her rn job , that it just gets me down. She has told me similarly about how she always feels her job is on the line.
      Fuck that. nurses shouldn’t be eating shit SANDWICHES. this job is fucking hard and stressful, especially emotionally.

      my end point is, I have already invested so much time and money to enter this program and I am not getting any younger (35). i have a 2.5 year old and my spouse has been waiting years for me to get my shit together and find a career. I want to make myself see this program through, but I have bad flashbacks from being my father and I being critically ill when I was 22 (we both pulled the wrong card in the deck, but thankfully one of us made it). I also can’t handle internal politics and NEPOTISM. My spouse was a great fire-medic in northern illinois for 9.5 yrs and he, the former chief, and others were wrongfully fired (absolutely nothing EGREGIOUS. my spouse is ATHEIST, highly educated, and stood up to the fraternal bullshit and that was not taken well by the older “good ol’ boys club” that can’t handle change for the better.) because the deputy chief and a buddy in the administration. He is now almost a doctor of CHIROPRACTIC with a focus on neurology (take that GFD fuck-wads). which brings me to not knowing if i can handle this type of climate if it is prevalent in nursing too. our family has been through so much (i did not even disclose for the sake of BREVITY).

      Will nursing be the a poor choice to continue pursuing? i need advice, bad!!!

      Reply
      • I think it worth pursuing. I think you need to not give in until you find a field you love with great administration. THAT is the most difficult task, unfortunately.

        There will always be BS, but you just have to figure out if you can see through that and find the joy in helping patients.

        I have finally found that job. There is still BS and bureaucracy, but there’s the ability to care for patients again too!

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        • 43 yr veteran nurse here. I loved your comment about administrations asking why cant you work faster, harder, take on more… rather than asking what can we do to help you. So darned true. Nurses have lost the foothold of their expertise and nurse execs are the reason. When an admin wants a nurse to have an mba instead of an msn with real world bedside experience, there is a problem: we lose the idea of being patient centric. I also hate nursing in a hospital that says a nurse is a nurse is a nurse. In my facility, Ob nurses are pulled to med surg and ED. How scary is that fir the nurse and the Patient. And we wOnder why we need a whole dept for pt safety. Good lawd. I suppose thats what you get when nOn- nurses make nursing decisions … and nurses are afraid to stand up to the isiots in charge. So after 43 yrs, yes i hate nursing. Its dangerous, threatening and sloppy. And it is nursing’s fault for giving control to the mba’s.

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          • I’ve said it before. Health care professionals need to run healthcare.

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          • 35 year nursing veteran here. I agree with all of this.
            my misfortune is that i am an LPN. I am treated as though i have no sense, quality and currently will likely be written up for supposedly “working outside of my scope”. Story of my life. I wanted to quit years ago and i’m still here. returned to school yet AGAIN. near applying to nursing program and had to drop my last micro course because the instructor was a bully and bitch. we work short ALL THE TIME. I work Hospice and love my work, but the management is really horrible.
            I wish i had words of encouragement, but i am looking for a way out. this field can be so reWARDING, BUT SO TERRIBLE. really TERRIBLE. i FEEL TOO OLD TO DO ANYTHING ELSE AT THIS POINT.
            GET YOUR rn AND SPECIALIZE. so MANY OPTIONS. I DO NOT.

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      • Run as far away as you can if you want to stay sane. Nursing is not what it is supposed to be or was in the past. Its all business and politIcs and im not joKing… ADMINISTRATION does not Care nor, will they ever care about patient safety or the employees bc there will always be a sUcker next in line to fill your spOt.

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    14. You absolutely right the same situation I have faced daily. I love your article thank u🥰 for giving words to my feelings

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      • You’re so welcome. Thank you for reading it!!

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    15. I’m a 27 year rn who is completely burnt out. When I git into nursing it was all about the pts. Now its just about the money. You are so right on every. Single. Point. You made. I love my pts. And they love me but I feel the life being sucked out of me. Im about to make a change and hope it helps. Administration telling you how to do things they have no idea of how to do themselves is also a total joke!

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      • Changing jobs (several times in 2 years), has helped me immensely. So has finding a job outside of nursing. Now I work PRN as a nurse, instead of doing it full time.

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    16. Hi there. girl yoU wRote words i have been thinking 24/7 the past 3 years. I am A nurse that was a teCh first… 3 years teCh, 12 years a nurse now. Almost all ICU. I Have been atruggling with these very thoughts for Awhile. I quit the icu in september because i was burnt out before covid, aDding Covid and all the death i saw from march tonseptember I fIGured if i didnt switch it up i wouldnt recover. Took a job at a home health case management company that acted like they careD and they didnt – that Lasted 2 months. I am currently working one shift a week for crisis pay in a float pool at a local hospital and its about all i can stomach. Prob Is – where do we go from here?

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      • I’m working 2 days a week PRN and selling real estate. I also run the blog, which currently doesn’t make any money but will this year. My end goal for 2021 is to work as a nurse because I want to and not because I have to.

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    17. (SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS, FOR SOME REASON CAPS LOCK WON’T TURN OFF. I PROMISE I’M NOT YELLING!)

      ALL THE COMMENTS ABOUT HEALTHCARE BEING SO BUSINESS-ORIENTED ARE COMPLETELY ON POINT. IT’S WHY, AFTER 16 YEARS OF NURSING, I’VE BECOME SO DISILLUSIONED AND DISHEARTENED BY WORKING IN HEALTHCARE. HOSPITALS AND ORGANIZATIONS TOUT THE IMAGE OF “WE CARE ABOUT OUR PATIENTS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE” BUT WE ALL KNOW THE REALITY IS THAT INSTITUTIONS CARE MOST ABOUT THEIR FINANCIAL SITUATION. SO THAT MAKES THE WHOLE “WE CARE” FEEL COMPLETELY FAKE, AND i JUST HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR FAKENESS.

      THINK ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES HEALTHCARE TEAM MEMBERS HAVE PONDERED WHAT THEY SHOULD DO FOR A PATIENT. IT’S SO OFTEN “HIS INSURANCE DOESN’T REIMBURSE FOR THAT” OR “HE’S A SELF PAY” OR “THAT’S A REALLY EXPENSIVE DRUG/PROCEDURE/DEVICE/PIECE OF EQUIPMENT.” OBVIOUSLY, HEALTHCARE INSTITUTIONS HAVE TO TURN PROFITS IN ORDER TO PAY THEIR STAFF AND EXPAND THEIR SERVICES, BUT LET’S JUST PUT ALL THAT OUT THERE INSTEAD OF PRETENDING LIKE MONEY PLAYS NO ROLE IN PATIENT CARE AND THAT WE’LL DO WHATEVER WE CAN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH TO TREAT A PATIENT.

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      • Medical care dictated by insurance is my BIGGEST pet peeve. It breaks my heart that we as healthcare providers have to bow to people that have no background to dictate what we do for our patients.

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    18. I am a LPN of 15 years and each year i tried to push myself to gO back to school for my rn… HASN’T happened. Actually cant stomach healthcare anymore. Sadly, like all, i have bills and a mortgage. I loved bedsiDe nursing 10 years ago, the job that made you exhausted mentally & physicallY at the end of thE day but made you feel good… ya wEll that doesn’T exist anymore.

      Nursing is mentally exhausting now & anxiety ridden. You are reportEd to your manager & “cc’d” on every emaiL… why!? Team player doesn’t exist and you fend for yourself.

      Anyways, my heart is with homecare. I go see my patIents and i enjoy the welcome to my home. I enjoy “please sit, can i get you a cup of coffee? I love the “please be careful oUt there.” Most importaNtly “thank You i will see you next week.”

      At the end of the day i come home and i talk to my boyfriend or sister about my day. My heart is full again because of APPRECIATION and GratitudE.

      P.S. i worked in offices, facilities & a hospital- it’s about the almIghty dolLar, the patient is just a Number. 🙁

      Reply
      • The patient is absolutely just a number, and it is incredibly sad. What’s worse is most patients know that too.

        I’m glad you have found some solace in homecare. I know the appreciation from the patients makes everything a little better.

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    19. Stumbled upon this post via pinterest and this trally resonates! I’ve only been a nurse 8 months, but I’m already counting down the days until I can quit my job and PUrse something different. Being unable to provide safe care and having concerns fall on deaf ears are not the reasons I joined this profession

      Reply
      • Thanks for the read. As I’m sure I have said, I hate that my words have resonated with so many people. It hurts my soul to see what the nursing profession and healthcare in general have become. What’s worse is I don’t see us ever getting better. But I agree, unsafe conditions and uninterested administration are not why I joined either.

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        • I stumbled across this blog and as you, I have reached a complete Impass. I am, unfortunately, not an RN, but an LPN. I have struggled with nursing for years, recently returned to school and not so far from being an RN. I work hospice and love it. hate the company and now find I will likely be in trouble for supposedly doing something “out of my scope” which i’ve heard for 30 years and am sick of it. I feel stuck and at 55, no idea what i could do except get my rn and just work.
          I feel very depressed and without hope. not sure what other skills i have. seems the health profession is the only guarantee in this age of pandemics and a nation crumbling.
          *sigh* Thanks for listening.
          julie

          Reply
          • The turning point for me was finding a job I loved, or at the very least could tolerate. I didn’t care if I changed jobs 20 times. I finally found a job that I love for the most part. Don’t settle.

            And I love LPNs. Some of the hardest working people I know!!!

            Reply
    20. I cantVe been a RN for the last 11 yrs and I recently resigned from the hosp that I’ve been with for the last 10 yrs. I thought and planned to retire in that hosp but the administration just got worse and worse. I was always stressed out and crying and felt like I was trapped. I couldn’t take it specially with the new admin adding more and more responsibilities and getting confused as to why I can’t deliver! I’ve had enough! Im currently reviewing to get my licensure in physical therapy. Bue nursing!

      Reply
      • Good for you for moving out of a toxic environment. It’s definitely a high priority for me as well.

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    21. thank you for this article, i’m just glad i am not alone in this struggle. While reading this, i cried/sobbed, my heart is broken, my faith in nursing is just losing.

      i’ve been a nurse for 10 yrs, i tried med/surgical, oncology, psych, home care, and lastly dialysis which i am currently working. i am trying to give it a chance and no matter what i do, healthcare system is nothing but business and patients are just numbers. so disheartening, management only cares about business.

      aside from lazy co-workers who became so complacent with their jobs, understaff, high patient nurse ratio (1:12) and the management are asking you to do more task everyday that you don’t know how to fit those tasks in 12 hrs aside from patient care are sickening, unnecessary documentation because they’re afraid of not getting paid by the insurance and you spend more time documenting than hands on patient care, because again, insurance will reject it. it’s just so sad. i am so burnt out!!

      thank you, this article made me feel better, and yeah, life is short to be miserable for the rest of your living life.

      its just sad how good awesome nurses like us gets undervalued and abused. Good luck to all of us.

      Reply
      • Thank you for reading it! I hate that so many nurses feel the way I do. It is truly disheartening. God be with us all, and the people who make our decisions for us.

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    22. Thank you for this post!
      I am currently overwhelmed with nursing and I also am deSperately looking into getting out of it. Im just not sure where to start. But seeing that im not the only one going through this is quite comforting. It’s sad that nursEs always burnout eventually even though we Offer so much heLp to other people.

      Reply
      • You’re definitely not the only one! I’m sorry it has burnt you out as it has so many others. Have you tried different fields?

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    23. Thank you for this! It’s like you were reading my mind!

      Reply
      • You’re so welcome. Thank you for reading it!

        Reply

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